Healthy Living: mind, body, soul

When My Humanity Brings Out the Worst

Last week I wrote about some thoughts about the type of person I want to be here. I want to strive to be kind to everyone I meet and have courage in all situations. But what happens when the realness of being human; imperfect, prone to mistakes, and wired for struggle and sin interfere?

16467237_10101038974139746_1573996566_n

I am a dreamer. I am an eternal idealist. I am also painfully human.

No matter how hard I try, I make mistakes.

I don’t do enough at times.

I do or say too much.

I say the wrong things, sometimes hurtful things.

I don’t say anything at all.

I’m here but not present.

I forget.

I get worn out and burnt out. Tired…

I let worry and anxiety control me.

I allow negative thoughts to influence me.

I make bad decisions daily.

I flat out fail sometimes.

I get hangry. It’s serious when I’m hungry!

I let my own self preservationism shut out opportunities for connection.

I ignore my heart’s desires and stay silenced when I should speak out.

I too often get caught up in my own struggles.

Where oh where is your courage now? How can you be kind to everyone you meet if your own inner voice isn’t kind every day?

I am human. I am real.  I have real struggles, real pain, real big huge mistakes.

21543_575088166996_7424470_n

Courage is the strength to be vulnerable, the strength to do something despite fear, strength in the face of pain. Courage is to never give up trying. I can’t promise every word and action will always be kind or that I’ll show exemplary courage all the time but what I can guarantee is that even in the midst of

my ugliness,

my imperfections,

my selfishness,

my mistakes,

my struggles

I will lean on God to sustain me and to help me through. And by His grace and mercy, despite my worsts, I will continually strive for kindness, courage and love. And if there’s ever a day where my humanity gets the best of me and the worst comes out, I hereby give thee permission to give me a wake up call and point me back on the right path.

47311_596229469656_5403789_n

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s